A BREAK FROM THE USUAL: 'A Particular Man' My 30-Year Marriage Miracle--JERRY!

"So here I am in Kona Hawaii at the Four Seasons Resort celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary. I had mentioned among my last few posts that I would have limited access and/or that I would not be posting much in the month of JUNE!

I would be in London and on the MOVE there every second with limited or no good access to write, and I was correct. Then, I'd be home for 4 days before leaving for Hawaii until the end of June.

Well I have been even more limited than I had expected. First, due to time and now at the resort, due to access. SO, I have the ability to (hopefully) Post a single "two-part blog."

It is about my marriage. We are after all, celebrating 30 years together here and highlighting in particular... my husband, "A Particular Man"... and that is what this will be called. I hope to get back on line here for part two early next week. So, until I am offically back home in Baltimore and not HOME here ...here goes a good attempt at written communication in blog format ... LOL

While I write a Motivational, Nutrition, Health and Fitness/ Personal Blog ... a 30th anniversary deserves a HUGE HIGHLIGHT and I'm proud to present this side of my life and to introduce My HUSBAND. He deserves MANY AWARDS, having been married to me for all this time now. Without him, I would have accomplished nothing near what I have.

SO please enjoy. Part two will be here next week ... (fingers and toes all crossed).

Until the first of July... I hope you enjoy this precious piece of my "the Fitness Diva's" Life !

Candace

PART I:

Gerald Anthony Grasso was his name. It has a nice, strong, Italian ring to it, don’t you think? He was 28 years old; I was a mere 18 the day we met.

He pulled up to my house in a brand new, white Trans Am sports car (without the traditional trademark "GAUDY" bird on top). That’s an important detail if you are old enough to remember what now is referred to as one of the most memorable “Muscle Cars” of all time.

Without the bird, it showed me this guy had some class. Please don’t take offense if you had or have one, donning the traditional trademark fowl; it’s just a personal preference. Either way, if you’ve ever owned a Trans Am, the car rocks!

It just so happens that I have an odd kind of over-the-top affinity for fast sports cars. I’ve been told that this obsession, for lack of a better term, is even more unique because I’m a member of the female gender! I find that a little stereotypically sexist.

I’m not offended. For me, moving fast is the only way to go, much to my husband’s dismay. Whether I’m riding horseback, running a race or driving my car, for me, the faster the better. In fact, I’m still driving a fast little convertible beauty to this day. So, when I saw the car, he had my attention!

He was there to pick me up and take me to an “A” league softball game that he’d be playing in that afternoon. Actually, after watching the game, he wasn’t just playing in the game; he was the STAR of the event.

The local newspaper interviewed him on the spot and ran an article to prove it. I was there to take it all in. Again, I wasn’t “with” him. I wasn’t his date. In fact, we’d never met. So imagine what I was thinking when, on a steamy hot July afternoon, this Particular Man, complete with a steamy hot car, unexpectedly pulled up and was sitting in my parents’ driveway. I was expecting someone to pick me up. I wasn’t expecting him.

In order to explain, I need to back up a bit. Actually, all the way to back to high school I’m afraid. Here’s what happened:

A few days before Gerald entered my universe, my Mother and I were running errands downtown (In Ithaca NY. that is), when we heard a car horn blaring in our direction. The driver had obviously intended to get someone’s attention, as horns are meant to do, but I had no idea it was directed at us. I was oblivious. My Mother, on the other hand, saw the whole thing. “Candy (that’s what everyone called me, until Gerald came along and insisted on referring to me by my actual birth name 'Candace') ... wasn’t that Mark Howl?” my Mother quipped, with a curious enthusiasm. “I think you used to call him Woody," she said. He wasn’t driving; he was in the passenger seat of that sports car. The plot thickens.

You see, all through high school, I had dated one young man. Yep, just one. I had a “boyfriend” or two in middle school; all through high school it was John Yengo, a nice Italian boy for whom I cared deeply. He was the Captain of the basketball team; I was the Captain of the cheerleading squad. It was that kind of thing.

Ask me back then and no doubt I’d have said I was in love with him. In fact, we had been so close for so long that, according to most, if had I not broken up with him at Senior Prom (I know, a little harsh right?), we’d be married today.

I’m sure of it too. Well, we’d have gotten married, but stayed married? I highly doubt it. SO looking ahead, with my “old soul” mentality in full swing, I assessed my situation. I thought of the ugly consequences of what staying with him most likely would bring. THANKS be to GOD, I ended our relationship at the conclusion of our High School Experience. If by chance you run across this blog John ... no offense. It just wouldn’t have worked!

Other young men had made their interest known in playful flirtations. Being committed to my choices, in my mind if I was with this guy, I WAS WITH HIM – end of story! There was one, however, that always interested me more than the average Joe. While passing me in the halls, his line was always, “You still with that Yengo? Dang girl, give a guy a chance!" He was fun and friendly and, FYI, the school mascot.

We were known as the "Little Red Skunks." Looking back now, what probably made him the BIG MAN ON CAMPUS was, undoubtedly, linked to the fact that this guy could pull off wearing a skunk outfit at our football games on Friday night and still hold his head up high come Monday morning.

That kind of thing takes a BOAT LOAD of self-esteem and self-assurance. Traits that are not only appealing, but when coupled with just the right amount of humility ... quite sexy as well. More overwhelmingly so when you possess it during the often crippling self-conscious years of high school.

He had dated a beautiful girl for years as well who just happened to be a competitor of mine in the horse show arena. Just telling the truth and using full disclosure, truth is I always beat her. It was just that I had more experience and honestly, trained harder ... that’s all. Looking back now, if I’m being honest, the connection somehow made his attraction to me altogether a bit more interesting. He was one year ahead of me in school. So he had been out of the building and off of my radar for over a year when he made his presence known to me yet again.

Apparently, Mark had met Jerry through a group of mutual friends earlier that year and had become close friends in their own right when, what we now refer to as “the car honking incident” occurred. I found out later what had happened through Jerry’s recounting of the event; he remembers it well. Apparently on that particular Saturday afternoon, they’d just been driving around and goofing off when Mark spotted our car. He yelled, “Hey, honk the horn Jer, honk it. That’s Candy Chatham … come on, blow the horn”!

To appease his overly zealous friend, he obliged. Jerry says that when he looked to see what the big deal was all about, he’ll never forget seeing my face. I didn’t see him, I didn’t see either of them, but he saw me. Jerry tells me that he couldn’t believe how amazingly beautiful he thought I was and asked Woody (Mark), all about me. “Amazingly beautiful," is something I find hard to accept no matter the circumstance, but I don’t know how one can conclude anything even close to that about a person in the few short seconds it takes for one car to pass another. Having said that, I can tell you this, I’d like to believe him.

The next day Mark called my house and after a few awkward pleasantries, asked the same old question, “So, you still with Yengo?" This time, the answer was 'no' and he asked me out. For some bizarre reason, which still bewilders me to this day, my Mother unrelentingly prompted me to do so. I wasn’t particularly interested. For the first time in a LONG time, I was unattached. I was only going to be home for another two months at most before leaving for college and getting on with my life. Her reasoning, “Oh, why not go out with him. Everybody says he’s such a nice guy. Yes you’re leaving for school anyway so why not. You know, just for the heck of it?" So, begrudgingly, I agreed to go.

Mark didn’t tell me where we’d be going. He only said that he’d pick me up around noon and not to get dressed up. I got ready; when he came to get me, well, you know by now that he wasn’t alone. My Mother looked out the window, “Candy, know what … I think that’s the car we saw the other day.

Again, Mark wasn’t driving. Seems he and Jerry had not only become close friends, but also played on the same softball team. Mark came to the house, said his charming hellos and we quickly left. We got to the car and Mark introduced me to his friend, “Jerry, this is Candy Chatham. Candy … Jerry Grasso. We play on a softball league and have a game at 1 p.m. Thought you might like to come and cheer us on, then grab a bite or something. Sound good?” Well of course I said sure. What else would I say? Off we went.

It’s important for you to know that right after we were introduced; Jerry could hardly bring himself to speak to me. He hardly paid me the time of day and, for the most part, looked at the ground and not my face when he did converse with me. In fact, though it wasn’t done with any rude undertones, I had the distinct feeling he just didn’t like me for some reason. I mentioned this to a couple of their friends who joined us at the game and EVERYONE told me that it wasn’t his usual demeanor.

Something I was soon to discover in a way I couldn’t have imagined possible. I remember having fun that night and through my “date” with Mark, I also found a new, fun and interesting clique to hang with for the summer. I should have noticed it odd that, even though he had appeared to diss me at first, I remember thinking how much I found myself looking forward to seeing Jerry each time we all got together. Even though I was now dating his friend, HE seemed to be on my mind. I was more than taken a back by that. HE wasn’t my usual type; yet, I was drawn to him...

HMMMMM........PART II is on the way.

Until I am home, please enjoy many articles in my blog archive at http://www.candacegrasso.blogspot.com/

Candace